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As all readers of this blog know, Sussex is at the cutting edge of modern university education. With the bold tagline MAKING THE FUTURE, the 2013-entry Sussex prospectus has been released, causing a wave of national excitement only just short of that caused by the Leveson Report which will be coming out later today.
The new prospectus is available for download from the Sussex website, on a page labelled:
On the front cover of this up to date source of information is the assertion that Sussex is:
Further within, the prospectus claims:
Now, not only did that second one shamelessly plagiarise this blog’s colour scheme, but with both of these ‘facts’, the prospectus’ authors have made the interesting decision to use league table figures from last year, which show Sussex in a positive light, rather than the most recent set of figures which paint a rather different picture.
One has to wonder why the self-proclaimed “most up to date source of information” is not using, erm, the most up to date information.
Head further down the page for a sneak preview of John Duffy’s new Sussex Campus Masterplan!
A tax is the best form of defence
Talk about nerve; HM Revenue & Customs has asked the Department of Transport to introduce legislation entitling them to break speed limits.
DfT are currently considering a adding a whole range of different organisations to the official list of those exempt from speed limits; their “impact assessment” (what a choice of words) states that “HMRC are involved in covert surveillance of suspects involved in major organised crime.” HMRC’s investigations certainly seem to be very covert. Indeed, their investigations into major tax avoidance seem to be so covert as to be virtually non-existent.
Also… just a thought, but a speeding car not being pursued by the police doesn’t sound “covert” at all anyway.
Speaking of spooks…
MI6, a.k.a. the Secret Intelligence Service, placed an advert in the Evening Standard this week (yeah, I know…) in which they invited “outstanding candidates” to apply for jobs as Intelligence Officers.
The advert also promised, “We’ll help you create a credible cover story for friends and family.”
In these cash-strapped times of austerity, I feel that MI6 ought to start offering this service on a commercial basis. So often, one needs an excuse but simply doesn’t have the imagination, consistency or rather obvious fake-passport-making staff to pull it off.
One Bank One Guvnor
After a long and exhaustive recruitment process, Canadian Mark Carney has been appointed the new
Archbishop of Canterbury Governor of the Bank of England. Given the recent success of the PCC elections, it seems that the trend is towards electing public officials rather than relying on old-fashioned techniques like meritocracy.
The Duffy’s Masterplan
While boasting away about the University’s success in previous years, the bunch of swankers who run Sussex have also been working on an impressively titled Campus Masterplan, detailing the brand new buildings that they’re going to spend our tuition fees on.
Registrar & Secretary John Duffy gave a presentation to the University Senate this week (a copy is here if anyone’s interested) and revealed that he will be demolishing the much-loved East Slope, and replacing it with a few new blocks plus a new area of accommodation creatively called ‘West Slope’.
He plans to keep the existing “landmark buildings” famously designed by Sir Basil Spence, but intriguingly intends to erect some “new landmark buildings.” Yes: a select few are definitely going to be landmarks, while the rest of the new stuff will be just rubbish.
“I apologise for having to cancel my office hour last week. I strongly advise you to stay away from the seafood salad sandwiches.”
“If you want to hear more critiques of Rawlsian justice then I suggest you do my third-year course. If that idea fills you with horror then I suggest that you don’t.”
“The whole concept of development is sickening, to be honest.”
The Association of Former Members of Parliament is an interesting organisation. Their newsletter’s column Where Are You Now? features retired or defeated MPs pretending that they enjoy their lives post-Parliament. For example, former Deputy Speaker Sylvia Heal wrote – with a slight air of regret– “My grandchildren are having a waterfight in the back garden. I’ve been around for a lot more afternoons like this since I left Westminster.”
There’s also a certain amount of self-congratulation. As of this month, illustrious former MPs are able to secure, for only £199, a “stylish Gold Plated hand polished badge/brooch depicting the wording Former Member of Parliament, Crown and Portcullis, personalised with your initials,” pictured above. They are apparently “a fitting way to display your involvement in British Politics.”
As a sum of money, £199 is obviously very (unlike the sort of people likely to spend it) and I would advise Nadine Dorries to make an advance order now!