Way out of our league

“Sussex tumbles down,” reports The Guardian, as we plummeted 24 places in their latest set of university rankings. Allow me to illustrate our fate in the league tables with this simple graph:

sussex-league-table-graphNot brilliant, is it?

Early evening update: Pro-Vice-Chancellor Claire Mackie has issued a press-statement in which she says, “It’s lots of people’s fault but not mine at all in any way.”

Since I’m well known as an impartial analyst in these matters, I was invited by the BBC to offer my opinion, which I gladly did: you can hear my radio interview below. Be sure to listen to it before the injunction!

Sadly they played The Song, and I will now be sued for thousands of pounds for music copyright infringement, not to mention being hunted down by Michael Farthing and John Duffy.



summer-beach[1]Meanwhile, because I have a punishing schedule of exams followed by summer-long youth-leading, this will probably be my last blog post this academic year (this was my penultimate one, by the way – guest-writing for Changing the Board). It’s been a pleasure; I wish all my readers an enjoyable summer break, and I’ll be back in the autumn!

Remember, if you want to be sure not to miss that dramatic return, you can subscribe for Gabrielquotes email-updates using the box at the top-right-hand-corner of this page.



  1. Compass’ Café Conundrum—and other catering capers | Gabrielquotes - 10 September 2013

    […] satirical blog about his educational establishment, in which he compared senior staff to dictators, derided league-table drops, highlighted the school site’s poor facilities and complained that the student voice is […]

  2. The University of Dotheboys | Gabrielquotes - 1 October 2013

    […] Of those complainants who then referred their cases to the Adjudicator as a final appeal, 3 were found to be either ‘justified’ or ‘partly justified’, compared to a national average of 1. Glad to see Sussex coming out on top of some statistical rankings at last! […]

  3. So. Farewell then, Sussex lectures and seminars. | Gabrielquotes - 2 April 2014

    […] their toll. A slew of panicked papers tabled for today’s University Senate meeting predict (more) significant drops in this year’s league tables and a massive dip in UCAS applications. The Student Recruitment […]

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