Results Day cut-out-and-keep special

Subscriptions to this blog are free this week*! Use the box on the right to set one up.
*and every week

Who says higher education is dominated by the upper classes?

Who says higher education is dominated by the upper classes?

Oxford and Cambridge have many famous exam-related rituals (see picture) as any fule kno, but readers of this blog will also be aware that Sussex has some traditions of its own when it comes to assessment and results.

As it happens, and rather thrillingly, today is Results Day. And since it’s Friday the 13th what could possibly go wrong, I hear you cry?

Well, here’s a quick and handy guide:

sussex-university-results-day-traditionsBest of luck to all my fellow soon-to-be-graduands and here’s to Sharon Jones remembering to work out everyone’s degree classification!

Don’t tell him, spike!

studulike-anti-homeless-studs-london

(“Anti-homeless studs at London residential block prompt uproar”, The Guardian, 7 June 2014)

Don’t Spy on Us (pls.)

Privacy[1]Saturday at Shoreditch Town Hall saw a day of action by campaigners which went by the name of Don’t Spy on Us. The day was introduced by a video from Stephen Fry describing suveillance as “squalid and rancid”.

The Guardian reported: “The day of action is billed as the biggest privacy event of 2014, with more than 500 people attending the event.”

And their National Insurance numbers are…

No more of this blog post relates to the covert interception of private communications

The Old Bailey courtroom looks terribly cramped

The dock looks terribly cramped

The trial of Rebekah Brooks and six of her friends/ colleagues/ husbands/ ex-partners has been dragging on but it’s now nearing its conclusion. After substantial closing speeches from prosecutor Andrew Edis QC and counsel for the defence John Kelsy-Fry QC, the judge has now dispatched the Old Bailey jury to reach their verdict.

To give an idea of the length of the trial, The Guardian helpfully tells us: “In Mr Justice Saunders’ summing-up of the case, which is now in its 126th day…” – and 126 days seems quite long for a summing-up.

At this stage, Ms Brooks must be getting a bit worried, and to take her mind off it she’s kindly agreed to pen a small ditty for this blog. We’re honoured to present:


.
The trial continues.

The school of hard knocks

enoch-powell-007[1]Michael Gove (pictured) has been in trouble this week after it emerged that sinister forces have been at work trying to take over Britain’s schools. And this time it wasn’t the Krillitane

text2985

The Skin Game

The BBC reports that the Harvard University library contains a book tastefully bound in the human skin of “an unnamed female mental patient” who, readers will be relieved to hear, “died of natural causes” (yeah, that’s what they all say). I would have thought there might be some minor safeguarding of vulnerable adults issues with a doctor tanning the hide of their own patients, but what do I know.

Those skin-bound books in full:

  • Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fur
  • The Goosebumps Series
  • On Liberty by Chamois Chakrabarti
  • That French hit The Little Leopard-Prints
  • Skintin on the Moon
  • Fifty Suedes of Grey
  • Sherlock Holmes in The Adventure of the Resident Patent
  • Johanna Spyri’s Hide-y
  • A Tale of Two Kitties (spoiler alert: only one survived) (That’s enough skin jokes. -Ed.)

katy bourne popular culture

Five of the best

Don’t spy on these people
In tonight’s episode, the privacy festivities were organised by ***, *** and ***. Charlie Brooks starred in Sitting in the Dock of the Bailey although perhaps Charlie Brooker would prefer the song. The University of Sussex was mismanaged by John Duffy (let’s face it, Farthing doesn’t have a look in any more). The skin jokes were absolutely purrr-fect and were written by me, Gabriel Webber. This was an Gabrielquotes production!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Morley Academy, Pyongyang | Gabrielquotes - 29 September 2015

    […] this is the news that in a university custom even more unusual than those followed by Sussex, the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland allegedly had a […]

Comments? Queries? Questions? Observations?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: