The moat around Falmer House is looking suspicously clean and it’s no coincidence that this is the week that Sussex has its own expenses scandal.
Gabrielquotes can exclusively reveal that since June 2010, the Univeristy of Sussexpenses has paid out over £50,000 in reimbursements to senior staff for travel, accommodation and so on.
Vice-Chancellor Michael ‘I lusm students’ Farthing opted to receive nearly £7,500 – my total tuition fees over the same period and then some – while Pro-Vice Chancellor Chris Marlin, who does a lot of gruelling foreign travel at public expense, took just shy of £9,000.
The stand-out winner in this game of It’s a Living, however, was Registrar & Secretary John ‘Duck House’ Duffy, who is personally responsible for over half of the entire bill. Here’s what the £25,878.57 he claimed looks like, one dot for each pound of University funding:
Thank goodness we’re not in a recession otherewise such garnishment-of-salary might seem inappropriate.
I had asked for copies of individual expenses claims so we could find out exactly what the money has been going on, but sadly the University forgot to respond to that part of my freedom of information request. A reminder has been sent…
Meanwhile, on the subject of Sussex’s freedom of information deficiencies, readers may remember that the Information Commissioner ordered them to release the entire unredacted catering contract, including the bits the University had tried to suppress (which included the financial arrangement and the service standards promised by Chartwells; so basically, erm, the contract).
Well, Sussex was having none of it. They are appealing to the Information Tribunal with lawyers and legal costs and other good uses of public money; so the Information Commissioner and I will be responding in due course, making the case for transparency. Watch this space!
(And oh yes: Sussex missed the deadline to appeal to the Tribunal and had to beg for an extension. Not that missing deadlines is like them at all.)
Finally on this niche subject area, Sussex FOI officer Alice Robertson recently replied to an online request for information as follows:
So she’s presumably not counting:
- the High Court injunction proceedings in March 2013 against “persons (including students of the University of Sussex) entering or remaining on the campus for the purposes of protest action” – because that couldn’t possibly be characterised as legal action against participants in protests;
- the County Court possession order obtained in December 2013 against “persons (including students of the University of Sussex) entering or remaining on the campus for the purposes of protest action” – because that couldn’t possibly be characterised as legal action against participants in protests;
- disciplinary proceedings earlier this year against the Sussex Five for their role in the occupation of Bramber House, for which the University legal bill came to over £60,000 – because that couldn’t possibly be characterised as a disciplinary legal action against participants in protests.
Grab a Pugh
HM Passport Office has stacks and stacks (pictured) of almost 500,000 unprocessed passport applications which are going to cause Brits to miss their summer holidays. MPs are not happy; and I’m sure none of them have any personal interest in the matter at all.
Home Secretary Theresa May accepts that this amounts to a “backlog” but denies that it is a “crisis”. Passport Office chief executive Paul ‘£104k a year’ Pugh, though, denied that it was even a backlog.
Questioned by MPs last week, he was asked whether he would apologise to the country for cocking up so severely. He said, and this is genuine: “I’d like to say that we, in our organisation, we recognise how important the passport is.”
Reminded that the question was not, “Do you know what a passport is?” but, “Would you like to apologise?” the Yes Minister character continued: “We exepct each year to serve over 5.5m customers, every year, year in year out.”
This wasn’t doing it for the MPs either, so Pugh eventually conceded: “I would like to put on record that we realise the impact it has on individual members of the public when we don’t meet their needs.”
…Nope, that wasn’t an apology either. His next attempt: “I absolutely recognise the anger and distress that people… that some people have suffered.”
After what must have been the Home Affairs Select Committee’s eighth or ninth attept he finally gave in: “In every case where we haven’t met our service standards, we are sorry for that.”
Like trying to get blood out of a stone. Or a passport out of HM Passport Office…
I was in the public gallery for this virtuoso performance and next to me sat a young man from the Home Office who was taking notes. These notes included: “Paul Pugh says there’s no-one better than him who could do the job. Apparently,” and, “Paul Flynn has an excellent voice.” Gripping stuff!
Earlier this month, retailer John ‘never knowingly working-class’ Lewis was ordered to pay damages to a Sky News journalist who got fed up with their spam email.
So last week I plucked up the courage to hit the UNSUBSCRIBE button on the latest in a series of irritating adverts I’ve been receiving from Sophie @ National Express. I suspect that Sophie isn’t a real person, but National Express is definitely a real coach company (although their timetable does contain some particular services which seem to be fictitious) so I thought I might win some mega-bucks when they keep sending me emails anyway.
But sadly it is not to be, because when I unsubscribed this is what I was told:
Taken into account?! I don’t want them to take it into account in their factual matrix, I want them to stop sending me drivel from made-up saleswomen.
Labour spitting feathers
The Labour Party announced an inspirational new policy last week on Twitter. Said policy was:
Unfortunately this was almost immediately deleted after Labour bosses noticed that they’d been hacked, although not before various Internet wits had commented on it – such as Guido Fawkes’ advice, “For more information, call 28 28 20.”
To refresh my memory from my distant childhood I looked up the Winnie the Pooh character ‘Owl’ on Wikipedia. It told me that:
Owl believes that he is the most intelligent animal in the wood, but he is really quite scatterbrained. He often rambles on into long-winded speeches and uses words that his friends do not understand. Though Owl likes to present himself as very knowledgeable, like most of the other characters he does not spell very well.
Now what Labour Party figure does that remind me of…? Here’s A A Milne to tell us himself:
Five of the best
- Flickr: Who lost this receipt or shopping list? – people who find abandoned supermarket receipts sketch the person they think might have abandoned them.
- The Guardian: Michael Farthing, ‘I celebrate our active student body’ – more lies…
- BBC News: Introducing ‘xe’ – Vancouver becomes the first city to adopt a gender-neutral alternative to ‘he/she’.
- The Telegraph: Wife pranks husband with Silly String – and another national broadsheet degenerates into The Onion.
- And as if to prove it… The Onion: Husband, wife unaware they are a comedy team – yeah. Journalistic standards flourishing.