Jobs I’m not applying for, Episode #3 (Channukadvent Calendar Day 3)

A now not-so-new column documenting one sarcastic so-and-so’s hunt for full-time employment.

• Role: Programme and Paranoia Manager
• Employer: Campaign Against Anti-Semitism
• Employer’s history: This group of self-appointed activists see themselves as the only thing standing between Anglo-Jewry and the gas chamber. They shot to prominence around a year ago after running an unscientific survey which concluded that everyone in the world is an anti-Semite. It was later painstakingly demolished in an episode of BBC More or Less.
• Salary: £25,000 plus commission on anti-Semitic incidents provoked
• Application process: Candidates must write 300 words on the topic, “What is lacking in the response to anti-Semitism today?” (Correct answer: ‘a plethora of Nazi comparisons’.)
• Advantages: Opportunity to be scared witless full-time: like a ghost train that they pay you to ride
• Disadvantages: being scared witless full-time

Join us again tomorrow for the next entry in the Channukadvent Calendar!