Zog and the Lawsuit

Omri and I recently read Julia Donaldson's excellent Zog and the Flying Doctors. Well, it's excellent apart from one thing: the cruel misogynistic king who locks up his niece for failing to conform to gender stereotypes, doesn't really have any sort of comeuppance.

So I decided to put things right:

In the last tale, Princess Pearl was locked up by the King.
He had her sew and wear a dress, and made her a plaything.
And while he’d released her, and freed her from his court,
Her friends – called Zog and Gadabout – they brought a claim in tort.
Princess Pearl was traumatised, as she left the king’s estate,
So she agreed to try to get the king to compensate.

Thus Zog flew Gadabout and Pearl – still in her dress, so regal –
To the forest where he knew they’d find the helpful legal eagle.
In amidst the crows and storks and birds of paradise,
They found the legal eagle, dispensing his advice.
“False imprisonment!” he squawked, “but your help can’t come from me!
“You’ll need a lawyer whose practice isn’t confined to a tree!”

So Zog flew them to a beach, and there they found a porpoise:
The eagle promised them she knew all about habeas corpus.
“But I can’t help you!” said the porpoise. “I must stay in the sea!
“You’ll need someone who walks on land, and they’ll stand in for me.”

So Zog flew off until he reached Nuncprotunc the Newt
Who said he’d represent them when they issued their lawsuit.

“Off to court we go!” cried Zog. “We can do this at long last!”
And he dropped off legal papers on the palace as he passed.

Twelve months went by as king and Pearl fought it out in court,
But Pearl won a large payout, to cut that story short.

The newt, porpoise and eagle gave their services for free:
“Such a worthy cause,” they said, “we’d like to waive our fee.”

So Princess Pearl and Gadabout and Zog had to invest
The ten thousand gold pieces they’d received in a big chest.
You might think that they’d treat themselves to cars and wine and jewels,
But instead they said: “Let’s use the money to establish a medical school!”

So while the king had no more gold, and lived in awful squalour,
His doctor-niece gained fame and admiration as a scholar.
Gadabout taught all the students how to heal a shrew,
And Zog, their faithful ambulance, would fly them through the blue.