The most twisted children’s book ever written

The Temple Institute is a faintly sinister organisation dedicated to readying the world for the rededication of a new Temple in Jerusalem. They’re busy preparing sacrificial tools and accoutrements according to the Torah’s instruction, and merrily counting down the days until something horrible happens to the Dome of the Rock mosque to allow them their moment to shine.

What I only found out this week, though, was that in 2003 the Temple Institute published an illustrated children’s book (in Hebrew) called צילי הטלה למקדש עולה: ‘Tzili the lamb goes to the Temple’. The book tells the story of a young sheep whose one goal in life is to be sacrificed by the High Priest.

It’s not in print any more, for some strange reason, but I tracked down a copy.

It’s a Freudian nightmare

I had to suffer through its bloodlust, animal cruelty, religious psychosis and frankly terrifying Holocaust ideation, so now you do too:

Tzili the lamb said to his mum: “I’m bored. Every day we go to the same places and do the same things. I like days that are unique and different.”
”But tomorrow will be very different!” his mum replied. “Tomorrow the priest will come to choose some lambs to take to the Temple in Jerusalem!”
Tzili was very excited. All the lambs wanted to be chosen, so that they could go to Jerusalem and be sacrificed for the Eternal One.

To shear a long story short, Tzili isn’t chosen and is heartbroken. His mum comforts him, saying, “Perhaps you’ll be chosen next time” (for some reason omitting to add “…for indiscriminate cultic slaughter”), and he resigns himself to being left alive. But then, fortunately, one of the chosen sheep gets savaged by a wolf, and though they survive, they are rendered unfit for sacrifice. So Tzili’s lucky day comes after all!

He waves a cheery goodbye to his mum, and then, as the chosen lambs approach the rebuilt Third Temple in the back of a van – the Temple shown in the distance by the illustrator, spouting smoke from the cremation of lambs, in what must surely be subconscious Auschwitz imagery – all the sheep begin to sneeze:

It was the smell of the incense from Temple sacrifices! Tzili had never smelt anything so delightful. Even the scent of flowers could not compare to this.

Nothing like smelling the burning bodies of your compatriots, is there?

They arrived at the Temple in a spirit of absolute ecstasy. “We are very important here,” crowed one lamb, “for through us they can perform the mitzvah of sacrifice and sanctify the world!”

I don’t want to spoil the ending, but I’m going to anyway:

Tzili was incredibly excited. He rejoiced at his good fortune. He heard the priest say the blessing, and all the people replied: “Amen!”
After that, they led Tzili up to the altar, and sacrificed him to God. And the fragrant smoke rose upwards.
The end.

Well, the end apart from a tasteful illustration reminding us of just how damn lucky that lamb was:

A ripping good yarn. Would recommend to anybody with the psychological support to process their experience of reading it. You can download a full copy here.

With thanks to the Facebook group ‘Shitpost the Beit Midrash’ for introducing me to this title’s existence.